Much Ado About Nothing

Photo credit: Nick Brandt

I just watched a segment of Eckhart Tolle TV. The question he answered was from someone "practicing the 'Power of Now' but still not feeling 'god's (whoever that is) love.'" The answer was as I thought. She could not feel god's love because she was looking for it outside of herself ; as if it would recognizably rain down on her - finally.

I was familiar with that answer but knew there would be other information in his answer that would be important to me... as always.

He was talking about how god is not something outside of us, that "god is love" and that love can be felt when you look at a flower or any piece of nature, empty of thought. What is left is that warm feeling of goodness, joy, which is also... love. Yes, good, I understand this.

Then he said that the same is true with humans, perhaps even a human you don't like. If you look in their eyes with no thought, no connection to who you are in this world or who they are... all that is left is that same feeling of joy in the recognition of oneness - and there I felt it: dirty energy, for I am invested in not accepting society (not my friends, family, and aquantices, but society (whoever that is)) as someone who is the same as me. Dirty, dirty energy.

And I claim this dirty energy is part of "who I am," and suddenly, I see a valuable and difficult practice for myself.

I've spoken about my version of yoga, which is competitive yoga, before. How when I begin to stretch and hold a pose my thinking self begins to break open, like a dormant dinosaur egg destructively cracking. And it screams, eating itself ferociously, that it can pose/stretch better and longer than that lovely girl beside me... I compete to be the best balanced yoga spiritualist ever!

and while this is happening, I know it is exhausting and ridiculous. I try to let the thoughts float while I return to an emptiness of mind. It is an infection, for sure. 

While watching the bit of video today, the camera panned out to the audience and I was all  at once loathing of all those fake people; followers! in the audience. I hated them because they were stupid. Not as good as me. They were flakes that were wearing the Eckhart movement to come off as superior to the rest of society. 

Oi. Such rapid judgement.

It didn't feel good to have this judgement, yet I am attached to being, feeling,... thinking that I am different. I do not want to love these people. I do not want to feel the love that would be if I took my barrier of indifference away. If I did, that would mean that they win. Competitive spirituality. 

Would it surprise you if I told you I was a bit of a reclusive?

When I first read "The Power of Now" I was awakened to freedom of the mind. I was awakened to the freedom of "self," from dualism. I tried to share it with a friend, I tried to tell her how amazing it was. She asked, excited, "What is about?" I was suddenly at a loss for words, and then, with great satisfaction, I told her it was about nothing. Yes! I realized deep inside of me. It's about - nothing. Everything is about nothing: and it is. A less then enthused "oh" was her response. 

Yet today, like Gollum with his precious, I feel that piece of me that wants to hold fast to that dirty, loathing energy. This something rather than nothing.

The stupid misconception that if I don't resist them, I will become one of them, which is, I think in my mind, asleep.

Now, on a whole, I can step back and love all humans, all life. I can see its beauty and I can "feel gods love." I cry with happiness and joy every time I see a kind act. The problem seems to be that I have to step back to do it. In the here and now, the right in front of me, I have some undressing to do.

I have some nothing to (or not to) attend to. In short, I have found something to practice.

At the end of the video, Eckhart describes the phrase "god is love" a little differently as, as a society, we have come to twist that phrase so that it points to the god outside of us as being love, when it means that god is what you feel, it is the result of being...nothing. God is not a person, place or thing... he says,

 God is the recognition of oneness in the world of duality. Which means, love is a way for god to come into this world and recognize him/her/itself, because this world is the world of duality; and then comes the recognition of oneness, and that is god. The birth of god into this world is love, and it's up to you to be the opening of that. But to be the opening for that the person needs to substantialy dissolve, just enough for you to go around this world and pretend that you are a person...

and I am suddenly aware, at the thought of looking anyone of you in the eye from a state of grace, a state of nothing, that in my dualism? I guess? I don't know... but there is an awareness in me that it is about trust.

 
I don't have to trust you, or trust me... I have to let go of not trusting. I just have to let go and let nothing. Nekkid.

If you're interested in watching any of these Eckhart Tolle TV videos, I found a youtuber that has quite a few

Or for fun, you can watch this