Ask Not...A Word to the Wise

Really?

Ask not what your relationship can do for you, but what you can do for your relationship.

When you wake up in the morning, this should be the question you ask yourself, or at least... my husband should.

I believe I do; in that, it's a natural initiative in me to contribute to my partner's well-being. I *enjoy* it even. It gives me pleasure to bring the ones I love a little happiness.

I think if husbands ( and I'm generalizing towards the men because, well, I think they're consistently daft as a species when it comes to this) woke up and asked what they could contribute to their relationship today instead of brooding over when their last blow job was... they would increase the positive flow of the partnership and, consequently, would probably see more blow jobs (winning!).

Because I love analogies to no end, I proposed this one to a gentleman (with an outstanding work ethic)... when you go to work you don't show up, sit on your ass, take zero initiative, and collect a pay cheque. You understand that your peers (wife/family) and employer (institution of relationships) would not take kindly to your sloth like contribution. In fact, such is your ethic that you would be horrified and embarrassed to not do your part on the job. When you go to work, you appreciate the hell out of the fact that you have a job and you work your ass off to show you are worthy of that pay cheque. You show up, you are awake, you are an active part of a team - without that, there would be no team. Without that, there would just be other people working whilst resenting your lack of contribution to the whole.

Right? Do we follow me? People who go to work and do nothing don't usually hold their jobs very well or long.

I propose that this perspective be brought into the house of marriage and/or relationship. Now, before you get all up in arms about who your fucking employer is... it's not your wife. Your wife is your peer, your family is your team. Your employer, like it or not, is simply the end result. Happiness or self-employment - it's your choice.

We've all heard a million people say it a million times: Marriage is work. So, why not take a minute, step back, and compare how you show up at your job and how you show up in your relationship. Do you show initiative (examples: Hey, I'm going to mow the lawn before it gets too long, Hey, I'm going to cook dinner tonight, or I'm going to organize a family outing)?


Ask yourself, do I just come home at the end of a long day, sit back and watch other people do stuff and then expect to collect a blow job at the end of night? What type of relationship employee are you?

If you are the kind of employee that shows up in their best everyday and gives 100% and still... no blow job? Well, then, I suspect you work for a call center and suggest you recognize the glass ceiling when you see it.

And if your reading this and chuckling to yourself that you are that sloth employee and you still collect a healthy sum of blow jobs at the end of the day... well, I suspect you work in the kitchen at KFC, your life sucks in  general, and you're actually in denial about taking it up the ass day in and day out.

I guarantee that either way someone somewhere is recognizing their glass ceiling with their "partner" and packing up their desk as we speak.

Now if your relationship is just not fulfilling and that's why you lack the drive to contribute, then nut up and get out. But if you love your relationship and your partner, for godsakes, don't be lazy. And DON'T tell me you just don't know how to do it... because there are a tonne o' instruction manuals out there that you could read.

Let's say you wanted to be, oh, I don't know, an electrician... if you weren't born with the gift of knowledge that it took to be an electrician, you nutted up and went to school to be one. You sought out the professionals so that you could learn how to be a good electrician. If you lack the skill, knowledge, and intuitive sense to be a good relationship partner - THEN GET OUT THERE AND FIND A TEACHER. TAKE THE GOD DAMN INITIATIVE LIKE YOU DID WITH YOUR CAREER. okay?

If about this time your whining because you "work all day... now I have to come home and work too!?" then I say this to you: if your house does not look like you are a hoarder and food magically appears around dinner time then somebody in that house is still working... too.

If you require a less subtle comparison to really make this clear and really hone your intensive, then here:

People who go to their relationship and do nothing usually don't get laid well or often ;)

Clear as mud?