Nicotine Juice (Insert Drool Here)

I had a dream I was smoking last night, only they were plastic cigarettes, like those wax tube candies that had sugar water in them, maybe you remember those things? Anyways, this dream comes from a mixture of me dying to smoke a real cigarette again (it's been a year and half since I quit- can you believe it?) and the invention of the (wait for it)... !*e-cigarette*!.

Who ever invented this little beauty, I love you - unconditionally. I've yet to get my hands on one of these, and I make a plan every weekend to find a real cigarette and smoke it, but I'm not worried because soon - I will smoke liquid nicotine and not worry about cancer. No more nails in my coffin. I will e-smoke. If technology was a man, possibly going by the name Jean-Luc, I would do him, right here, right now. My clothes would drop off and I would say "give me your e-penis."

The way it works is simple. Each electronic cigarette or "e-cig" has a battery, an atomizer, and a cartridge filled with a liquid nicotine solution. Upon inhalation, a device is switched on which sends a signal to a heating element inside of the unit, called an "Atomizer". The e-cig atomizer heats up quickly and vaporizes the liquid nicotine solution into a vapor that replicates the look and feel of smoke" (taken from the Vaporking website).

Oh Emm Gee. It's like cooking nicotine crack, right? But, healthy crack, right? I am elated.

Sure, there are some nay sayers to this, the greatest invention since sliced bread. There are those that would suggest that inhaling propylene glycol via an atomized "fine aerosol" is bad (what?). To that, I respond simply with the ever intelligent "whatever" and "gimmie gimmie."

I love the language they use on the Vaporking site to sell their product (hello? you had me at "e-cig"). It's like when the Snuggie explained just how complicated regular blankets are (and to think, all this time I've been burdened by the old blanket).

The E-cigarette is also self sufficient, so this means you do not need any lighters, matches, or ashtrays - all which add up rather expensive over a period of time.

Like I needed the attraction of saving all those pennies on all those lighters and matches I never bought and always managed to lift off my peers (thanks, btw), and all those ashtrays I never used. Silly Vaporking, just send me the goods. Now.

My cigarette addiction is alive and kicking. I have rationalized smoking the ever complicated and costly real cigarette (because, damit, my life is complicate and I need it) today because soon...sigh... I will have a new friend. I can even buy my new friend in pink with purple LED.

My god e-cig, will you never stop giving?




I'll even leave you guys with this (because I'm sure I haven't put enough links in this post already)




He's kinda cute, right? Even with his big "air quotes." I'll even over look that he's smoking menthol (because everyone knows that is not really smoking. pft.)